How to handle holiday meltdowns (yours and theirs)

Stop holiday meltdowns in their tracks - grab these tips for a calmer, happier season. Photo credit: Depositphotos.

While the holidays bring great moments of laughter and time with loved ones, the season can also come with a fair share of stress. With all the excitement and high expectations, it's normal for both adults and kids to feel overwhelmed, leading to some tense moments or even a full-blown meltdown.

Making it peacefully through the holiday season starts with knowing what to look out for, having a plan to keep stress low and knowing how to handle those tricky moments if they happen. Keep reading for straightforward tips to help manage stress, handle meltdowns and even turn tough times into chances to connect.

Proactive prevention for a peaceful holiday

A stress-free holiday doesn't have to be a myth. With some intentional preparation and clear boundaries, you can create a tantrum-proof holiday plan to avoid the meltdowns before they happen. Start by setting realistic expectations and acknowledging that holidays can be imperfect and still memorable. Focus on the bigger picture, ensure your holiday plans are simple and prioritize joy.

Routines often go awry in the season's bustle, so consistency can help keep everyone grounded. Sticking to regular mealtimes, bedtimes and daily rituals, as well as planning for regular breaks can avoid the temptation to overcommit. Setting these boundaries with loved ones ahead of time by communicating expectations surrounding gifts, length of visits and downtime ensures that there are no surprises for anyone involved.

A little bit of preparation can also go a long way. Cooking during the holidays can be a huge area of tension. Plan for easy main dishes to ease cooking stress, like baked ravioli or shake-and-bake pork chops. Also, consider creating a meltdown game plan ahead of time, including strategies like a safe word or a designated cool-down spot where you can go to reset.

Spotting the signs early

In the best-case scenario, your planning is executed without a hitch. More realistically, however, there is some building tension. Recognizing the signs of stress before they become a meltdown can help you keep the peace and spirits high.

For children, stress often resembles irritability, unexplained silences or impromptu bursts of energy. If kids start seeming restless, fidgety or prone to tears, consider taking them aside to understand what is upsetting or engaging them in hands-on activities, like helping with easy tasks in the kitchen to keep them occupied and distracted.

For adults, stress appears as withdrawal and tension. Physical cues might include clenched fists, pacing or sudden silence. Knowing what to look for and watching for these signals can prevent stress from escalating and keep the holiday spirits intact.

Guiding your child through holiday stress

Someone blew a gasket; now what? Well, the holiday season can be overstimulating and overwhelming for children of all ages. Whether a toddler or a teen, staying calm is the first step to diffuse the situation when a meltdown strikes. Remember that your response sets the tone, so if you can approach them with empathy, patience and comfort, you can quickly de-escalate.

First and foremost, make sure the child feels heard and acknowledged. They may be feeling tired or frustrated and letting out those negative feelings in this uncharacteristic way. Avoid dismissing their feelings or negotiating with them in the heat of the moment, and show that you are there to support them. If possible, offer them a quiet and comfortable space where they can calm down and center themselves. Giving them this physical space can help to create the mental distance they need to process their emotions.

Once the incident has settled, revisit what happened with them that evening or the following morning. Discuss how to identify, preempt and manage feelings like this in the future. This gentle approach ensures that your child can understand their emotions and learn skills for handling stress.

Navigating adult meltdowns

Kids aren't the only ones who can throw a tantrum. The high pressure of the holidays often gets to adults, too. When extended family, adult children or close friends are having a meltdown, approach them with sensitivity and calmness.

When the tensions rise, avoid engaging emotionally in that moment. More often than not, this can unintentionally escalate the situation. Try to stay neutral, giving them emotional and physical space to help them regain composure. Offering them water and a quiet space to regain composure might be helpful. However, take a moment to assess your relationship with them to ensure these actions feel supportive rather than intrusive.

When things have cooled down, you can approach them in a calm and understanding manner, acknowledging that the holidays can be overwhelming for everyone. Offering an empathetic ear can be helpful, but remember not to push them if they seem unwilling to share. Ultimately, a compassionate and non-judgmental approach can diffuse the situation and support your loved ones in handling unexpected emotions.

Managing your own meltdown

After all this planning and managing, no one would blame you for your own meltdown. It's important to check in with yourself and ensure you have a personal strategy in place to stay in control. When you sense frustrations rising, allow yourself to politely step away from the situation, explaining that you need a moment to yourself. Get some fresh air or retreat to a quiet room till you can regroup.

Quick breathing exercises and simple mindfulness practices can help you calm yourself. Try taking deep, intentional breaths or counting to 10. Though they seem basic, these techniques help create a pause that interrupts your emotional buildup.

Remember, you can't control how others act, especially during the holiday hustle. If things start going off the rails - whether it's a heated family debate, a tantrum or just too much noise - it's okay to step back. Politely excuse yourself, find a quiet spot or even take a quick walk if needed. Shutting things down or choosing peace over conflict doesn't mean you're giving up; it means you're setting healthy boundaries to keep your holiday experience enjoyable and stress-free. Sometimes, stepping away is the best way to keep the holiday spirit intact.

Repair and reset

The tension and awkwardness can sometimes be felt in the air after a meltdown, whether yours, a child's or an adult's. Taking the time to reconnect fosters a sense of empathetic closure that prevents stress from lingering.

Addressing the issue is always a great place to start. If it was your meltdown, offer a brief apology to anyone affected. If it was another's, encourage them to do the same where appropriate. Use this time to compassionately discuss what led to the meltdown and create a safe, supportive space to explore how to manage these feelings.

Offer a time to recharge with options like a favorite activity, a walk or some quiet downtime. Giving everyone space to process and reset ensures that you are reconnecting with care.

Embracing a peaceful holiday

Yes, the holidays can be a whirlwind of emotions and activities. However, by taking small steps like understanding how to recognize stress, preparing a thoughtful game plan and understanding how to manage a meltdown, you can make the season more enjoyable for you and your loved ones. Try out these strategies this season to see how you can transform your holiday experience into one filled with meaningful moments, not messy meltdowns.

Sara Nelson is the food blogger behind Real Balanced, where she's been sharing easy, balanced recipes since 2017. Her recipes have helped thousands of readers make gatherings a little smoother and more enjoyable. Sara lives in Wisconsin with her husband, two kids and their dog.