You say you want a resolution? We all want to change

CELINA - Change is hard, and with a new year comes fresh opportunities for resolutions.

Celina-based licensed therapist Aaron Kuhn said many people fail at New Year's resolutions. He said those looking to change habits in the new year may want to consider digging deeper to make meaningful change.

"You look at New Year's resolutions, a lot of people are failing at keeping them. I think a big thing psychology-wise is most of the time it's deeper than a simple 'I want to lose weight' or 'I want to be happier' or whatever those New Year's resolutions are," Kuhn said.

"Say for example 'I want to live a healthier life.' A lot of times people, whether it be struggling with denial or being detached emotionally from circumstances … can have a real issue identifying what the real issue is that is making (them) unhealthy to begin with."

Part of change is being able to identify a problem, Kuhn said. Sometimes people may have to brain storm solutions with the help from a therapist, pastor or other mentor, he said.

"We have to pick a solution and then assess that solution to see if its working, and then if not we have to recycle the process again," he said.

For example, Kuhn said someone struggling with food-related impulse control issues may have a deeper issue that needs to be resolved.

"Maybe that's trauma that I've struggled with. I've been traumatized in my life, and I have low self worth and food gives me that dopamine to feel good in the moment. Then I am going to medicate with that food," he said. "If I don't know that is the problem and I make a New Year's resolution, (change) might last a week or two. But to (make long-term changes) with something like that with no insight to the problem, no meaningful change is likely going to occur."

Some people make contingency contracts or sign documents for their new year's resolution. Kuhn said he has seen success with this method for some clients.

"You write it down. It gives you some sort of sense of commitment," he said. "There are certain types of individuals that function better with contingency contracting than others."

Licensed social worker Elizabeth Osborne of St. Marys said New Year's resolutions have more to do with finding the right motivation. Osborne said some people work well with a rewards system, while others might need a different approach.

Kuhn emphasized that working with a trusted mentor, friend or therapist is key to developing a well-balanced and achievable New Year's resolution.

"We have to identify the problem and then align with somebody on the problem," he said. "Dig deeper you might find some gold. If we (have) more alignment and vulnerability in our New Year's resolutions… we are going to have a lot more success."

Osborne said it's important to set goals, and making a resolution for the new year can be a step in the right direction to solving a bigger problem.